Achieving self-love is a hard concept if you've never dared to try it, and there's no set method of getting there. However, in the spirit of sharing a lot of my journey in previous posts, I thought I'd share one of the strange-yet-successful methods that I found.
I discovered it by accident and it's something very personal to the type of person I am as I'm very noise orientated. It's self-love with the use of songs.
I've always been more aural than visual when it comes to entertainment. Not that I don't love art and books (and House of Cards on Netflix) but at home (or anywhere for that matter) I spend the majority of my free time listening to music or podcasts. Aural adds to visual, even the Night Tube can feel a bit magical provided you're listening to something which makes you feel warm and fuzzy.
|For younger readers, this is a cassette which holds a groundbreaking 90 MINUTES of music|
This discovery was accidental. It was during one of my lunchtime walks last summer and a song shuffled on to Spotify. It was Clean Bandit's Rather Be.
I love this song. I love the sentiment behind this song, as I had no one particular in mind when I was singing it, I realised I was singing it to myself.
Have you ever tried singing a love song to yourself? I found it disgustingly hard. Despite battling with disordered eating and negative body image for years, it's been a long time since I said terrible things about myself. I wasn't even one of those people who said awful things about themselves when they looked in the mirror (I quite like my thighs, actually). However, singing something to myself, especially a love song, felt alien. Aren't these songs meant to be for someone else? Someone who inspired the writer so much that the muse brought the lyrics into their brain? Someone who they worship for all they do for them? Someone who is a constant companion? Someone who they can't live without?
'When I am with you there's no place I'd rather be ...'
That's me! I'm that. I'm all those things to myself. I genuinely would prefer my own company to that of most people on the earth, too (small handful of exceptions apply).
Suddenly silly love songs (romance quota = zero) seemed to have a whole new meaning and yet I also understood what people were singing about all those years, Maybe that's not the intended purpose for the song but if something so simple and easily accessible can be used to help heal? Spotify, take my money!
It obviously won't work for every song. For example I think the most romantic song in the world ever is John Denver's Annie's Song; that's one I see as intended for another, so I can't work with that. Fleetwood Mac's Everywhere works a treat (and makes me really happy, as it's one of my favourite songs).
Okay, it's a bit weird but for me this worked and still works. Singing nice things to myself is on par with standing in the mirror, looking at your reflection and saying nice things to yourself (and it makes that easier too).
Self-love is something very personal and can seem like the easiest or hardest thing in the world to achieve depending on how you treat yourself. Healing is not linear. However, next time a silly love song comes on and you want to skip past it, try thinking about saying those things to yourself and why you deserve to hear them.