Why it's OK to get ALL THE FEELS from the Star Wars trailer

Allow me to set you a scene: 

It's Tuesday morning. 7am.
I am awake, in bed, switching my phone off airplane mode to wake my wifi up.
It's Star Wars trailer day. I know this because my friend and I were discussing it over messenger before bed.
I fire up my YouTube app, find the trailer and click the play button.

3 minutes later, I rewatch it. Jeez, my eyes are leaking!

I open up Twitter and Facebook and see what the world is saying about it, and to see if anyone else is a bundle of emotions like I am. 

The thing is, it's okay to get emotional. I've just woken up, I've been ill with a virus for the last few days, I'm in deep caffeine withdrawals (5 days warrants tears alone) ... and I've just seen Princess Leia on the screen for the first time in DECADES. 

So here's the thing, here's why Star Wars is important to me.

It's 1983 and I'm four years old. I have vivid memories of our VCR player, it has a remote control on a wire and all our cassettes are labelled according to the stickers you get in the box with a fresh, blank VHS cassette; A1, A2, A3, B1, B2 ... etc. 

A1 was an important one. Not only because it has my initial on it (despite sharing it with my eldest brother, it was mine as far as I'm concerned) but it's the one that has A New Hope recorded off the TV with all the commercials carefully edited out (thanks to the pause button) on it in all its grainy quality. I have watched this cassette a lot. It wobbles when you watch certain bits from pausing and rewinding too much, I know the exact moments in the script when it cuts to a commercial (even now when I watch the dvd I can tell you the moments when that happens), I am shit scared of Jawas, I want to be Princess Leia and I want to marry Luke Skywalker (hey, Jedi hadn't come into my life yet, stop judging me). Aged 4 and life my was sorted. 

I loved going to cinema to see the original trilogy remastered in the mid-nineties as a teenager and seeing the films I grew up with on a big screen, dragging along friends with me who somehow had not had the same upbringing as me (where their mum sat them down at aged 4 and told them to watch these awesome films). 

(Props to one of my old school friends who came out of Empire and declared 'Princess Leia is such a slut!' and was greeted by an entire line of cinema goers glaring at her in complete horror. One of the boys took her aside and quietly explained what had just happened, it was her first viewing, easy mistake to make.)

Now, let me tell you why 1999 sucked.

I'd been at university for 2 years. My A New Hope poster was the first one I bought in the poster sale during Fresher's Week and it went on every wall in every student accommodation that I had over the course of my degree (it also went into the hallway of my first non-student flat too). A lot of us bonded over Star Wars due to our age, one of my housemates was borderline fanatical and he was the one who suggested we all go to the midnight screening of A Phantom Menace. This involved a bunch of very excited new twentysomethings pratting about with plastic lightsabres along the river banks of Worcester at 11pm one evening as we walked into the city for the show. That was the fun part.

The fun ended about 2 hours later. Who the hell dared to break one of my favourite childhood toys? It only got worse too; by Revenge of the Sith I thought this franchise was so ridiculous that it was laughable. Star Wars was no longer cool. I was a bit heartbroken. But I still had my original episodes, so all was never going to be lost.

In the decade or so following that, and especially since I got into the convention scene, you always have Star Wars as a talking point. I mean, pretty much everyone on earth has seen these films, so it's an easy point of reference. Plus, most people like to pretend the last 3 films don't exist and now the Ewoks don't seem as bad (sidenote: Return of the Jedi is my favourite one and I like the Ewoks; anything which can look cute and be such a vicious little bugger is my kind of character).

In addition, I've met tons of Star Wars people in the following years including Carrie Fisher.

LOOK AT MY FACE! You should have seen how excited I was that day, how patiently I waited, how I could barely get words out to speak to Carrie and how much I grinned for hours afterwards. Princess Leia was my first feminist role model (yes, at age 4, I didn't realise it then but now it makes perfect sense). That was such a great day. 

Onto The Force Awakens, then. 

Yes, I got excited by the first trailer (there was definite whooping when I saw the Millennium Falcon in action again), I got VERY EXCITED when this poster started circulating online:

and then, two days later, we got this :

And we're back in my bedroom at 7.07am. 

Not that I haven't had some great adventures with Star Wars over the 'empty' years, I have. I've met cast members, I've met people who worked on the films, I've been to awesome interactive screenings of the films, Star Wars has still been very present in my life ... 

... but this is the first time something has made me feel like an excited 4 year old again. 

I'm not doing first night viewings, sorry, my fingers have been burned by Menace, I'm going to see it on New Years Eve. I'm not a New Years Eve gal, I always stay in and wait for the chaos to blow over but this year, my NYE might actually not suck. 

J.J.  - I really hope you've managed to fix one of my favourite toys, because I can't wait to see it again.

That's why it's OK to get the feels. All of them. 
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